Assignment in!

Well, after weeks of pondering and blood sweat and tears, I finally managed 10 poems on a central theme for my poetry course.

I submitted the lot this afternoon and I’ve already received my grading for it. I wrote about news and how it has changed since I was young. Certainly received a decent grade, but as per usual, not a lot of critiques or explanations:

Really like the premise of this collection.  However, the poems need to come to life with more imagery and use of metaphor.  They read more like explanations of a topic, rather than image driven, layered verse. Also, be careful with your use of the “I”.  Sometimes using the “I” can interfere with your use of imagery.

If this course has taught me anything it’s that I am not a poet. I enjoy the exercise but certainly not my forte. Here are a couple of my favourite examples out of the 10:

Drowning

I would swim crystal blue waters to find you

Elegant coral reefs full of life

I chose those close to surface

Sunlight dancing with you

Bringing out your pastel colours in the azure sea

I always avoided those deep dark chasms

With their brilliant colours to lure the unwary in

Sharks lurking around every corner

Every passing year it becomes harder to find you

The water is filled with words and pictures

That the sharks now hide behind

I find myself drowning

Drowning in a sea of information

Longing

A gentle lover

Always speaking truth

Difficult conversations spoken with care

You took me to my highest highs

And to my lowest lows

But always with love and a soft caress

Now you treat me with contempt

Harsh words and lightening strikes

There is no gentleness in your delivery any more

Truth has become lies

I no longer know where I stand

How I long to have my lover back

A kiss, a touch and a shared vision

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